I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I AM VODKA MAN
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
