Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
