Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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