what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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