I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
