ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
