Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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