and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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