if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
