first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
