Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize