think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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