i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
