i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
