I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
