It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
