he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
