I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
