i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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