How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
