There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
