i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
