Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
