tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
