we're chasing vodka with high fives
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize