i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
