dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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