she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
