Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
