Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
