So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
