Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
