Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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