Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize