I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
