Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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