I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She's the barista slut.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
