I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I smell stomach acid.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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