Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
