so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we made out on top of his cat.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
