have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
