Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
