he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
