that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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