the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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