I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
