Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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