Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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