rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize