i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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