hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
