Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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