Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
