one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
