What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
