My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
