Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
