Got a toothbrush?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
