i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
