My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
