After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
